Goodnight Moon
by Katy Fisher
Summary: Remus Lupin and Lily Evans have a relationship they must keep secret from The Marauders.  But, tonight, something has changed.


"Remus?"

Remus Lupin spun around to see someone walking towards him. "Lily? Is that you?" he asked the silhouette.

"Yes," Lily Evans answered. She stepped close enough for him to see her face in the partial moonlight. The moonbeam was dim, blurring her features, but somehow it was bright enough to cause her green eyes to gleam in the night. Remus smiled.

Lily, somewhat reluctantly, smiled back. "How long were you waiting?" she asked.

"A few minutes, not too long," Remus replied, "What held you up?"

"Oh," Lily's face turned a little pink, "Someone in my dorm was still awake…I had a difficult time sneaking out."

"Okay," he said with a smile, "Now, how about we start our usual stroll about the lake?" Remus asked, reaching out to grasp her hand.

Lily hesitated for a second, then placed her hand in his. They began their walk around the placid lake in silence. The giant squid lazily swam around, occasionally letting a large tentacle surface for a few seconds before it came back into the water with a small splashing sound. A little breeze played over the students' cloaks and tugged at their hair, creating a slight whistle.

There was an aura of uncomfortable silence about Remus and Lily. She looked as if she wanted desperately to say something, but what, Remus could not fathom. He studied her face trying to decipher the thoughts that made it twist so, but not even her ever-expressive eyes gave anything away. All he could see was that she was distressed.

Finally, unable to bear it anymore, he broke the silence by saying, "Cat got your tongue?"

Lily let out a small laugh and a genuine smile graced her face before she returned to her somber mood. She sighed, unwilling to share whatever it was that was on her mind.

"What's wrong, Lily?"

She pulled her hand out of his and stopped walking. He stopped too and turned to look at her.

"Lily Evans, tell me what's wrong," Remus demanded gently.

"I don't…I don't think…No," she stopped and sighed again. Her eyes darted around his face, down to her twisting hands, over his shoulder to something that wasn't there. She opened and closed her mouth, much like a fish out of water, but said nothing.

"Lily," Remus whispered, concern creasing his forehead.

She sighed sadly at his obvious distress and turned around, looking over the lake. She began once more, saying it so quietly, he almost missed it, "We can't be together anymore, Remus."

He stared at her back with shock on his face. "What...What do you mean?"

Her head bowed down. "You and I…we can't be you and me anymore." She turned to face him once more.

"Is it because of the secrecy? Would you rather it be out in the open? I will give up my friendship with James and them to be with you…I don't care what they say or how much James likes you…" Anything to keep her close. She was too precious to lose.

"No, no, Remus, it's not like that," Lily said, her green eyes glittering with tears. "I've loved this secret relationship. I haven't minded it not being out in the open. You've been so great. It's just…I can't be….with you when…I like someone else…I like…James," she whispered. One of the tears slid down her cheek.

Remus searched her face for something, anything to counter what she had just said. He was speechless. How had he not seen this coming? Seen their coming together? Known that James would get the girl in the end…he always managed to get what he wanted even if he didn't do it intentionally.

"I…I'm so s-sorry, Remus." Tears began to roll steadily down her face, leaving sparkling trails.

He stared at Lily, feeling as if he had been punched in the gut; all air he had once had, gone. "I don't…know what to say," Remus managed to murmur.

He now understood what had held her up – why she had been late. She had told him. She has told James about her secret relationship. He knew where she was. And if she didn't tell him who she had been with, James knew who was missing in his dormitory. How would this affect their friendship? How could Remus stand being near Lily and James? How could he lose her?

"I'm sorry, Remus," Lily said again. "Goodbye." She turned around and began to walk back towards the Hogwarts castle.

"Wait!" Remus shouted. He ran forward, grabbed her arm, and pulled her towards him, placing his lips on hers. Their kiss was brief. Lily pulled away, studying Remus's face, surprise and grief etched on her own.

"I just needed to kiss you one last time," he explained.

Her big green eyes glistened in the moonlight, shining with fresh tears. "I…" Leaving her sentence unfinished, she turned and ran back to the castle, her cloak billowing out behind her.

Remus watched her go and stood, still staring at the front doors, long after she had disappeared through them.

Ten minutes later, Remus Lupin began to make tracks back towards his school, vowing to repress his love for Lily and cursing the moon that had cursed him all his life.


End file.
